World Stone Skimming Championships Rocked By Cheating Scandal

I regret to inform you that one of our great institutions, whose honor we all thought we could count upon, has been sullied. That’s right: the World Stone Skimming Championships have fallen.

We laugh, but for the 400 competitors, these championships are serious business. Serious enough for at least a few to risk their integrity in order to get ahead.

Starting as a small community charity event in 1997, the championships take place every year in an abandoned quarry on Scotland’s Easdale Island. The small island is situated in the Firth of Lorn and has a population of only 61. But this September, 400 competitors and 2,000 spectators came to take part.

The competition is deceptively difficult. In the first round, competitors must skip their stones 62 meters across the quarry. The second round is a “toss-off” between everyone who passed the first round. Competitors find their own stones, which must be less than three inches across and be naturally formed from the island’s wealth of slate. This is where the problem arose.

An old quarry

The old quarry where the competition takes place, with guide ropes. Photo: World Stone Skimming Championships

Suspiciously circular?

The official toss master, Kyle Matthews, was the adjudicator at the center of the drama. Competitors approached him, sharing their concerns over suspiciously circular skipping stones. According to a BBC Radio interview, the judges were also hearing “rumors and murmurings of some nefarious deeds.”

Matthews handled it with discretion, approaching the accused in private. To their credit, Matthews said, the perpetrators admitted to their crimes immediately. The stone-doctorers accepted their disqualification, presumably ashamed of the disgrace they had brought upon the noble and ancient sport.

While the organizers acknowledge that the competitors selecting their stones “is one of the highlights of the competition,” they say that if this issue continues, they will be forced to use pre-vetted stones.

The competition continued despite the disruption, with Lucy Wood taking her sixth victory in the adult women’s category. Yes, the sport is segregated by gender. No, I don’t know why, either. The overall victory went to Jonathan Jennings, the first American to claim the title.

Lou Bodenhemier

Lou Bodenhemier holds an MA in History from the University of Limerick and a BA in Creative Writing from the University of Arizona. He’s interested in maritime and disaster history as well as criminal history, and his dissertation focused on the werewolf trials of early modern Europe. At the present moment he can most likely be found perusing records of shipboard crime and punishment during the Age of Sail, or failing that, writing historical fiction horror stories. He lives in Dublin and hates the sun.